Journey.
One cannot expect that through an easy road we will get the most desired outcome. We may come close, but we will never find what else is truly out there. If you want fast paced and good quality life it won’t come cheap. If you want a good quality but cheap life it won’t come fast. If you want a fast and cheap life it won’t be a quality life. Well humanity has come to be selfish and we all want to have a fast paced, excellent quality, and affordable life. Fate has some say in who will get what they want; so does hard work. Tending to want all three aspects of a perfect life we tend to find a balance of the three based on hard work and fate; that is an ordinary life. What we’d give to have exactly what we wanted, won’t be attained by sticking to the ordinary old easy road lifestyle we have for generations come to know.

Arizona.
You have those willing to take the journey through the wilderness to find what they can truly come to achieve; being committed to excellence. After the decline of my first relationship, I suppose I was bent on finding one better; settling only for one as good. I thought there were no better women than Gabs, it turns out there ARE other fish in the sea. I met Grace, I met Cassie, I met Brittany, I met Andrea, and I met so many others I wish I somehow could have gotten to know better (*cough* crushes). Yet I limited myself to what was available rather than waiting for perfection. I will say I found the perfect woman in Arizona, she goes by Tsuki; keyword is the limiter Arizona. I went to Japan, and I’d been to Canada, and I couldn’t find any better a woman there. I found myself believing Tsuki was the perfect match for me in the world. Oh, I was wrong.

Definitions.
Yeah I’ve said this a thousand times, but for those you love you wish you could give them the world. Tsuki found someone better, and as one who loved her I decided to let her go, I mean I didn’t want her to be stuck with me whom I wasn’t perfect for her. Which goes against some results I’ve found; true love implies both selfishly want the other. (By the way I hope Kit-Chan is everything you’ve wanted and more) I’ve wondered for quite some time now what true love is. I figured true love was to want to do everything you can for the other person; a strong enough overdose of feeling to be completely selfless for them. Naïve, selflessness will only get you so far in a relationship. Selflessness will lead to the relationship becoming a habit, a guilt trip, abusive, and/or one sided. Much rather if both love each other enough to do anything to keep the other it’s much more intoxicating and long winded; even rivalry can breed love. I mean that sounds cruel, but think of trite sayings like I never want to let you go.
((Getting off topic there))

Unseen.
Limiting myself by what was on the easy road (e.g. what was in/around Arizona) seemed to be a problem I hadn’t realized to myself. I want so many things in life too, but with school, DECA, love, material things, internet, friends, family, and everything else near the end of High School I lost anything equivalent to a list of priorities. There were points in time where I was running purely with the flow seeing where the world would take me next, because I didn’t know where I wanted to go next. When I went to Japan I was under a lot of stress and was using it as a vacation to clear my mind. Call that a gift of fate to clear my mind. Though with the Navy around the corner and all the problems still back at home I didn’t really enjoy my vacation as much as I’d like to, and I think my aunt was upset that she planned the trip of a lifetime and I wasn’t quite as responsive as she’d have liked. I sat in a Zen rock garden for quite a number of hours thinking about all those problems, and that was the one time I felt I got to organize my thoughts.

Meditation.
I tend to over think things, my mind is cluttered, and I don’t have enough time (or effort really) to organize it all. I had a long time to think to myself in boot camp. Sure I was learning a lot, and being yelled at a lot. You train your body to do things and place your mind elsewhere when you’re at attention. My dad suggested sometimes when I was standing around at attention to build a house starting from the ground up; that had always helped him during down time. I almost liked standing at attention; a very meditative trance like state for me. I organized all my thoughts in boot camp and graduated a man freed of my mind; perfect clarity.

Return.
Coming to sub school was like returning to life knowing exactly what I wanted in life and how I was going to do it. Then the unplanned happened and I lost Gabs. Boot camp showed me how to isolate my mind and reality, to keep on a routine while still living a separate life in my head organizing my thoughts. This time it wasn’t the end of the world losing her, I would manage somehow. Did I ever, I found Grace quite quick enough. In a few short weeks since I’ve found she’s perfect for me in every way, and I completely selfishly want her to be mine. I believe she feels the same way.

Dangerous.
My only concern is that she and I may be moving too fast. That we both believe the other is perfect without seeing what else is out there. Then again I’ve seen the world, and will see more of it when I go on my first tour in the Navy. Thus far Grace is the best end for love in the world. In just a few short weeks I've fallen harder for her than I've ever felt for Gabs. I would spend the rest of my life with her; so why aren’t we married and happily living ever after yet?

Plan.
I will be spending quite awhile in Groton, Connecticut going to several schools for the Navy. After my schools I’ll actually be going to a submarine where I’ll be doing a six month tour aboard a submarine. I’ll see the world, make plenty of port calls, get qualified submarine warfare, and spend a lot of time onboard a submarine. During my time on the six month tour will be the ultimate opportunity to organize my thoughts. If after six months of thinking she still wants to be with me and I still want to be with her we will probably get married.